Well, I know I'm pushing the proverbial envelope with supermoto community members, but I think I've found the remedy in a rather unexpected mount. Look at the pictures and read my thoughts. A Ducati Monster... what the hell does that have to do with a supermoto? Am I high on inhaled race gas fumes? Well no, this divine revelation didn't land on me all of the sudden. After ten days with Ducati's S2R, I came to the conclusion that it's the "supermoto" of sorts that I would like to spend my day on. A day with a good mix of open highways in search of classy bends and then tearing, scratching and storming up and down gnarly passes. It's a bit surprising really, considering the fact that the S2R is not even the Monster's flagship. Higher up the ladder you'll find the powerful S4R and of course the classy M1000. On the face of it, the S2R is a poseur: macho S4R looks but with a "puny" 77 hp engine. So why do I allow myself to come out with such a bold statement? Read on.

Design wise, you get the looks of the S4R with that racy off center color stripe running from the small shield to the back seat cover that looks, oh so Shelby Cobra 60's. When I went to pick my test ride, in Orange and Black trim, I found it parked between a red/white S4R and a yellow/black S2R and I must say that my mount's color scheme was the least appealing. The red/white, available also on the S2R is the bollocks, a true chick magnet. Fire it up and the twin Termignonis emit a very muted beat. Bummer. Luckily, their high placement -- closer to ears -- means that you get plenty of aural feedback while seated. On to the city streets, first thing to get noticed is the reduced effort at the clutch lever. Not down to oriental levels, but a serious improvement nevertheless. After your body settles down on the new triangle dictated by the handlebars, seat and pegs, you also notice that the somewhat strange riding position of old monsters has changed. There is less weight on the wrists and the footpegs are now in a much more proper position, so everything feels way more balanced. Mmmm... more supermoto I hear myself thinking... Additionally, I must add that the revised Duc is more rational and adapted to city dwelling.

On the short ride home, only two things bother me: stress at my wrists due to the handlebar angle and what feels like too light of a front-end. It's much lighter than I remember from the other Monsters I rode. A quick check with a tire pressure gauge reveals that the front is over inflated while the wrists issue is solved with a 6 mm Allen key and rotating the handlebars in the clamps. Perfect. There are test bikes which I have no problem leaving alone until I have time for a proper ride after bringing them home. Just the thought of taking a Supersport or Sport Tourer to do errands in the city makes me sweat. With this Monster, it's the other way round. The single-cylinder-like narrowness, the sporty yet erect seating position, the torquey engine and the newly lightened clutch, allure me to go back into town to play. I don my jet helmet, my cut finger gloves, vintage black jacket and I'm feeling all set for a hormone check in downtown bars. My feisty mood has an abrupt reality check though.

About a mile into my ride, I realize that I left my wallet at home. U-turn time in a double lane street and...Shiite! Mid turn, I realize that there's no way I am going to make it and I almost crash into a parked car's door. I'd forgotten the Monster line has a history of limited steering lock and this bike's maximum steering angle is simply pathetic!

Only at the very last second, do I put a steadying.
Sure, the new APTC clutch's pull is light, but now the lever is too short and the ball end digs annoyingly into my little finger in constant city traffic usefoot down and save the bike from an embarrassing fall at 0 mph. Shaken, I turn back home, grab my wallet and head out again. Time to get more agro. Sure, clutch pull is light but now the lever is too short and the ball end digs annoyingly into my little finger in constant city traffic use. These two problems are double irritating since they could be easily solved. Otherwise, the M800 is such a peach for city riding/showing off. The pull from down low is nice and linear and by rolling the throttle just slightly quicker while sprinting out of lights, the front end comes up beautifully. No surprises here. Power is so controllable and un-intimidating that even a wheelie-challenged nerd like me can pretend to be Doug Domokos for at least a couple hundred yards at a time. The small overall bulk, stiff frame and wide handlebars tempt you to arrive at stop lights with the rear end either in the air or crossed up after a nice slide just for the heck of it. It is indeed impressive how this decade-old-plus design still feels so fresh and conveys those young and brash emotions. Just remember the limited steering lock and use three fingers rather than four on the clutch lever. The thing still has the innate ability to make you feel king of the 'hood whenever you throw a leg over it. Enough posing.

Saturday morning I hop on the Milan-Genoa highway and the M800 has no trouble at all keeping a steady 100 mph and for a short and furious stretch.

Kerouac had his highway 66, but the one road I call my own is the SS427, a winding leg between the village of Varzi and the Del Penice pass. Unlike Jack, I have no philosophical or existentialist motives here, just a simple adrenaline addiction. Most Milanese squids prefer the faster Trebbia road in the valley at the other side of the pass. I on the other hand, am a sucker for the 20 miles of mental zig-zagging that this road offers with hardly any straight bits to catch your breath. It's the kind of place where there's not much use for more than 80-90hp or less, but it demands solid handling, quick steering, good brakes, usable power and clear front end feedback. This Monster has such a nice mix of all the above, that I'm in full banshee mode within 30 seconds. Something feels different about this M800's setup, the front end feeling more reactive and the slight laziness while tipping old Monsters into bends has almost disappeared. This S2R just loves my futile attempts to twist the frame and reacts to my countersteering inputs with a quick and smooth stoop into bends. Weighing-in at 15 pounds less than the M1000 might help here too. In the long hairpins it's easier to dial in the last degrees of lean and the improved ground clearance ensures that there won't be any muffler grinding here, even while hitting mid-corner bumps.

I'm past just half through the hundred or so bends of this road, yet I can't help but be impressed by the overall balance of the package between my legs (but he doesn't like to brag). There is such a linear engine pull from 3,000rpm, and it will happily follow you on into almost 10K if you wish, while never catching you off guard, freeing your mind from drive and gear selection worries. Suspension set up is still classic Ducati, stiff and controlled, so when you do throw the M800 about it easily settles into high lean angles without moving around. With such a perfect canvas to paint on, you can't help but enjoy the effective steering and good field of view courtesy of that Supermoto handlebar to the fullest.... Oh, there we go, at it again.... The SM thing.

OK, some things just don't compare. There's no long seat inviting you to shift

I stop at the pass for coffee. There are plenty of bikes and riders in the parking lot and the S2R's boy racer poise grabs its share of attention. That is until a customized XB12 and an S4R pull in, shoving the S2R back into its place. The extreme Buell shows that with all due respect to Monsters, the decade old design is showing its age. Next to the smart XB12, the M800 looks almost vintage. The gossip in local press is that the M series is about to undergo a major redesign, and it wont be a moment too early. The bigger S4R reminds me that although 77 hp are kind of nice, why not 120 or at least the 85 of the M1000? When I swing my leg over the S2R again, it seems to read my mind and answers: 'Cause with my 77 horsies I have the perfect balance for these roads and you are not Christian Pfeiffer (Ducati's awesome stunt man), at least not yet...

The M800 is stronger that the anemic, entry level 620 and it has the aforementioned advantages in looks and seating position over the M1000. A nice middle of the road point in the Monster range and as it turns out, I am not the only one to see it that way. In the last few months, M800 sales have surpassed Ducati's previous bestseller in Italy, the M620 while bringing all time Monster production numbers to the 150,000 mark. Also in terms of accessorizing, the M800 hits a middle ground of sorts. Never mind the classy swingarm, the front calipers are twin piston floating Brembos. They might not look like much, but power and feel were very good and I found myself doing some of my longest rolling stoppies ever with this one. The non-adjustable inverted fork might look good, but it got on my nerves from time to time. Nevertheless, the overall suspension setup is okay and offers good control, but it feels like the fork valving is not very sophisticated. Over some higher bumps it felt like the fork was locking up and jolts were transmitted straight to the wrists. However, even that can't hamper your full trust in the M's manners. The triangulated frame is that stiff. On my way down, a situation that always arises to exacerbate front-end feel, the M800 seems to say "trust me". When rolling into the throttle at the bend's exit, the friendly power doesn't cause you to run wide, as might happen with say a Tuono or S4R. Play with the gears for some extra pull, or leave it in third-fourth and concentrate on feathering the tire's edges.

All we (the M800 and I) want to do is to come back here tomorrow. Luckily, it's Saturday. See ya Sunday. At the end of the day, I don't know if I convinced anybody with my new and weird definition of an open road supermotard. It's a lean, narrow and friendly sit-up-and-scratch thing, a scalpel on the right roads while still letting you cover distance without pain. What does matter is that with just a few touches here and there, this more than decade old design is as relevant as ever, even in front of Japan's attack in the naked middleweight segment. Riding a Monster is still a rather special experience, even if the thing is far from being tops on an outright performance scale. This M800 could do so much good to someone climbing up the displacement ladder or looking for a friendly tool to hone their cornering skills. It could be a nice relief for someone who's gotten off frantic 600 supersports or going back to my claim, someone who's really into nimble and minimalist things but doesn't want to make all the concessions required by a single cylinder powerplant. If there's one problem to this Monster, then it's its price. At a 15% premium over a 599 or Z750, Ducati isn't going to sell them by the truckload. So what's someone to do: pay more for something that on paper looks like less? Don't always go by the spec sheet, because it won't tell you about frame stiffness. Even so, that special Monster charm is worth the premium for quite a few souls. After riding the S2R, I can surely understand them.